Eye Boogers

Luka's right eye was almost closed shut the first day he was home. Apparently clogged tear ducts are common in newborns & can last six months. Who knew? This image conceals the eye boogers pretty good. Isn't he a cutie? That is a rhetorical question.

Mama, what's dat?

It's a camera, Danijela.

Big Sister

S.O.S.

I'll be totally honest here. I've reached my limit. My body & mind are seriously breaking down. I attribute it to complete exhaustion. I actually do well 90% of the time. It's the other 10% that sucks for me & (more so for) Tata.

Not having time to myself is the real kicker. Once upon a time I had a few hours between nap time & time after putting Danijela to bed. No more. Now there is the two-baby dance at nap time & I snag sleep as soon as Danijela & Luka initially go down at night. For Luka that could mean 30 minutes. Blogging will be sporadic & mostly images. A picture is worth a thousand words!

2 Weeks

Weight: 7 lb 3.5 oz (15%)

Height: 20 3/8 inches (25%)
Head: 13 11/16 inches (25%)

Luka had his 2 week checkup yesterday. Dr. Nale said his weight gain was excellent. He gained over 1lb in a week (yippee!). Nursing is going well except he nurses all night long and sleeps all day long. Makes for a very tired Mama. Need to start working on organizing his days & nights. If we could have a night like the day -- it would be wonderfully ridiculous. Gonna run before DSL crashes yet again.

Mother of Two

Wow. Life is definitely different with two children. Luka was asleep when I put Danijela down for a nap. Before she was completely asleep he started to cry. I went to him. She started to cry. I brought him into her room. I nursed him while encouraging her to sleep. She falls asleep. He falls asleep. I move to put him down. Success. Then I have about 40 minutes before I start this dance again.


There really isn't any time during the day that I have to myself. After she goes to bed I work to nurse & settle him. Then we start the every-two-hour schedule of nursing and diaper changing. I'm so thankful to my husband, family & friends for their help & support. It still isn't easy, but it is a true blessing to have such an awesome circle of support. It does take a village by the way.

I've received some blog comments and inquiries. I apologize I haven't responded yet. Time is incredibly elusive. When I do get on-line our DSL typically goes down. If that happens I often give up trying to do anything non-baby. You will hear from me. I just don't know when.

Sweet Boy

Yard Art

Early this morning the entire family was in "Tata's bed." Danijela's been waking earlier & earlier these last few days. I hope this is not a trend. We went to Building Blocks where she actually asked to go home & take a nap (I have witnesses!). Sure enough she took a 3 hr nap. It would've been longer had I not woken her up. Then we played in the front yard the rest of the day.

Luka

Sticky Situation

Danijela received some awesome gifts celebrating her new role as big sister. Donna sent the coolest bucket of goodies. The stickers were the biggest hit & a close second was the bubbles. Kiley got in on the action as well.

Donna also sent a wonderful book called What Baby Wants. Grammy said she read it to Danijela about 15x yesterday. I read it to her tonight & she is now sleeping peacefully.

House Call

She did it. Dr. C drove to our house to check on sweet Danijela. You have to understand that Danny & his family immigrated to the US from Yugoslavia in the mid-70s. Baba primarily speaks Serbian. It took some time for her to comprehend the person standing in the doorway in scrubs was the doctor that just delivered her grandson. From what I understand Dr. C received a mighty embrace once the connection was made. I think this is one of the coolest parts of the whole birth story.

The Good Doctor

A nurse asked if I had a birth plan. Silence. She asked if I wanted medication. Clearly & loudly I shrieked "No!" It's truly unbelievable. We planned for an unmedicated birth, but somewhere in the back of my mind I doubted I could do it. God was surely with me.

My doctor arrived shortly & went searching for my cervix too. I simply begged more & louder. Luka was head down but sunny side up. She said "If you want to do this we have to turn him." I'm not clear what would've happened had we not been able to turn him. The process was absolutely excruciating but worth all the pain. I'm pretty sure this is when I said "Dr. C, I hate you." I was totally kidding which is even more hilarious. I'm amazed that between contractions you feel somewhat normal & can have a sense of humor.

I pushed hard for 1 hr & 25 minutes. Danny was awesome. I only told him to "shhhhhh!" a couple times. I'm relieved I didn't curse like a sailor. He was beside himself when Luka started to emerge. The doctor said "Angela, if you don't deliver this baby Danny is going to!"

Lucky for Danny I was able to deliver Luka @ 5:09am. That sweet baby was on my chest immediately & Tata got to cut the cord. From waking at home to Luka's birth was 3.5 hours. I still cannot believe all this happened. It was like watching myself in a movie. Honestly one of first things I said was for Danny to call our house to check on Danijela. I never let her slip from my mind during this whole ordeal. Would you believe that no one answered the phone? No time passed before Dr. C offered to go to our house on her way home. Amazing.

9cm

We arrive at the hospital. I have another contraction as the double doors open. After the contraction I stand up & we can't get the doors to open again. We literally do a little dance in front of them. Yes, they open.

I have 30 seconds to run to Labor & Delivery before another contraction hits. We almost crash into a team of nurses that are coming with a wheel chair. They asked tons of questions I couldn't answer. I was soaked so they knew my water had broken. I'll add here I looked absolutely ridiculous. The shower I dreamed I'd take as we gracefully moved through first stage labor (yeah, whatever) did not happen. I was in baggy beat up sweats & a random soccer t-shirt that was a million years old. Oh, I did have on some pretty nice sandals. My breath would have put a dog to shame.

They rushed me into a room & start connecting the monitors. I was 9cm dilated. Yes, you read that right. I was 9cm dilated upon arrival. I won't go into the details of them trying to reach my cervix. I begged them to stop. I mean I said "I am begging you to stop!" The on-call doctor tells the nurses I cannot push. Hum. You need to speak to my uterus, lady.

The Driveway

At 1:30am on Tuesday I woke to intense cramping & back pain. Not unusual during this pregnancy but definitely stronger. The pain became increasingly more severe & quickly. There was zero break in pain which made me think it was possibly a uterine rupture. I woke Danny.

I spent an hour in the bathroom -- sitting, leaning, praying, moaning & trying to respond to Danny, our doula (Kirsten) & the doctor. Thoughts were crashing through my head, but no words came out my mouth. I'm pretty sure I answered a single question from my doctor before I dropped the phone & started moaning (well, screaming). She instructed us to go to the hospital immediately. She also thought it was a uterine rupture.

Amazingly Danijela hadn't wakened during this entire episode (that wouldn't last). It was like a bad comedy. Danny directs me to get in the car immediately. Danijela starts to cry. The pain totally increases at the sound of her cry. I moan louder. Danijela cries louder. Danny tells me to get in the car! I start crying. Her grandparents were on their way at this point, but we had to leave her alone until they arrived. That tells you how urgent the situation was.

I got a break in the pain (about 30 seconds) and dashed to the truck. Another contraction hits. I literally pound on the hood & scream. Then my water breaks all over the driveway. We take off running red lights & I'm telling Danny I think I have to push!

Painted Nails

The nurses giggled when they saw my painted toenails. They said a good pedicure can induce labor. Golly. I had no idea. I got a random pedicure on Monday afternoon. Luka was born Tuesday morning @ 5:09am. He was three weeks early.

For The Record

This has been a tough week. Monday morning Danijela had a major meltdown. I cannot adequately express how frustrating & absolutely heartbreaking it is. I'd say Monday's meltdown lasted 1 hour. This is the smile she mustered at breakfast after calming down.

Wednesday she set a record. I was able to prepare & broil asparagus, bake salmon & cook couscous while she screamed bloody murder. I also prayed, read a magazine & cleaned the entire kitchen.

Happy Birthday, Ella.

We were invited to Ella's 2nd birthday party on Saturday. She lives just around the corner from us. Her parents prepared quite the celebration to include a Dora the Explorer bounce house. Needless to say it was a complete hit.

Zsa Zsa

I so want to honor & protect Danijela. Blogging about her life feels intrusive at times. When a wee one she'd turn her back on the camera. It seemed funny at the time. Today try to remember to ask if I can take her picture. She is a person after all.

Last week she was playing on the couch alone & was trying to nurse (she calls it "zsa zsa") her baby doll. I'd been in another room when I realized what she was doing. She almost seemed embarrassed. It was such a sweet & personal moment. I definitely felt like an intruder. I love you, sweet girl. You are so precious to us.

Rainy Days

Last week we saw quite a bit of rain. The mosquitoes haven't landed yet so I kept the front door open where Danijela played with her dolls. She was interested in running to the driveway & back all the while getting wet.

I often try to imagine what thoughts are running through her head & what motivates her to do the things she does. There is such innocence. Just recently she started becoming more scared (bugs, sounds, separation). It is an interesting time & I honestly believe quite unsettling for her. Love her.

Caution: Wet

Bubbles time is always an adventure in our household these days. You never know if it'll be giggles or all out screaming. By nightfall I'm all tuckered out. Plus I can barely fit beside the tub anymore. Getting up & down ain't a breeze either. Tata is awesome. He gladly does the nighttime routine when he is home. He loves his girl. I know the feeling is mutual.

Swim Practice

Danijela is very excited about swimming. So excited I can hardly contain her before we leave. This week she stood at the door waiting and practicing "reach, reach, blow." Today before church she practiced on her bedroom floor. If you ask about swim lessons, you best have time on your hands.