hi·a·tus

The Online Etymology Dictionary has the most appropriate definition. It says a hiatus is "an interruption in the intensity or amount of something [syn: suspension]"

I drove to Austin yesterday with Luka. My car screamer actually did really well. My husband has taught me to pray the Lord will change me in those situations. I do. I also confess that I still pray Luka will be quiet. We had a nice drive even through all the Dallas & Austin traffic.

I'm taking care of my sister's house & pets while they are in St. John for a week. Luka went down & slept like a champ last night. He woke at 6am & is sleeping right now. It's strange how dark it still is outside. They live on the outskirts of Austin in an area that doesn't have light poles. It's like being way out in the country when you aren't. It is also incredibly quiet. I'll be here alone all weekend. Then Melanie & Sundee are joining me for the week with their children.

Happy Birthday, Tata!

Happy birthday, Tata! Danijela & I spent the morning making birthday cards for Tata. I'll post those tomorrow. We also spent the evening in the 'hood with good friends enjoying pizza. We (sort of) surprised Tata with a yummy birthday cake too. Danny is such an amazing man. It was his birthday and yet he really took care of the kiddos while we were sharing time with friends. I am the most blessed woman on earth & I know it.

Golden Arches

Last weekend we promised Danijela ice cream after her nap. We don't do that often so she was excited. The first thing she said when she woke was "Ice cream." I'm amazed she didn't eat it all. After the initial sugar high she lost interest. What she really wanted was to play outside with the other kids.

This is the thing about Danijela. She is pretty hesitant at first almost anywhere. Yet it only takes a very short time before she makes fast friends with complete strangers. Often it seems like she is more relaxed around strangers (kids). This day was no exception. She was very animated & having a ball.

5 Months

Things to know about sweet Luka. He rolls over often & gets pissed about it quickly. He gnaws on his hands relentlessly. He has a killer smile & dimples! He smiles often & gives a giggle sometimes. He smiles when he hears Danijela's voice (seriously). He definitely doesn't appreciate being held horizontally in your arms. He loves to stand up. He won't take a bottle or pacifier. He screams in the car just like Danijela did. He has the most beautiful fat rolls on his legs. He is our one and only son. We love you, Luka.

Bread

We made it! Danijela & I made our first loaf of 100% whole wheat bread. AND it was yummy (if I do say so myself). She was a great help & definitely enjoyed kneeding the bread. Good good fun. The best part was showing her the finished product & sharing it with Tata. She talked about how she will teach all her friends at school.

$105/hr

I want to thank my girls. I want to thank you for loving me in spite of my brokenness. I have shared with you the pain in my soul that surfaces in ways I do not understand. You didn't push me aside or walk away. Your arms are always open. You hold me close. You care for me. You have not let me waste away in darkness. Instead you give me hope & are like rays of sunshine that make my eyes squint! I think I need new sunglasses. Kisses (directly on the kisser) & hugs to you all. There isn't enough time, words or money to pay you back for all you have done. Praise God and God alone.

Johnny did it.

Oh. How do I say this. I typically wear my hair very short because ... quite frankly I have very fine, straight hair. And I have no style. Several months ago I invested in going to a high-end stylist that Melanie uses. Sundee goes to another stylist in the same salon (seems funny to type "salon"). Anywho, I asked them "What should I do?" In unison they said "Whatever Johnny says." So I did.

Twice I've gone to see Johnny. I truly love him as a human being. He's obviously extremely talented as a stylist. I know Melanie & Sundee prefer my hair to be longer. I'm okay with whatever. I've liked what he'd done. I do need it a bit shorter to last longer. I can't afford $80 more than every couple months.

Today I had my third appointment. We talked about spiritual things. I could have sat there forever. Getting my hair cut is like therapy. I told him I would like it a bit shorter. He just returned from New York & said he was inspired. I shut my eyes (usual) & let him go for it. It felt so good & he was creating art.

Well, it's super short. I was a little shocked. AND it's Johnny's fault. I just wanted it a little shorter. He told me to be prepared to get all kinds of compliments as most of my hair fell to the ground. I thought of you both. I know it will grow out. Please love me any way. Imagine. I was going to shave my head. At least I didn't do that.

Bouncing Tricycle Tea Party

On Thursday I decided to stay home with the kids versus "dragging" them around town. As noted, Luka screams in the car. Besides driving me crazy he is obviously pained. Danijela too despised the car as an infant. Maybe our children get car sick. I don't know. I just know they hear the "click" of the car seat and start screaming bloody murder. I wish I could say I have more compassion for him than I do. It makes me sick to write that. In all honestly I get very self-centered in those moments & just want everyone be quiet. I'm working on it.

Anyway, the most amazing thing happened. Melanie & I went walking with the kids Thursday morning. She mentioned Courtney invited us over. She also told Courtney my one goal was to stay at home. Courtney offered to bring her bound house over. STOP! Courtney, like me, has two small children. Ava is 2. Livi was born one day before Luka. This woman was willing to "drag" her kiddos here AND bring a BOUNCE HOUSE for all of us. She deserves a THE medal. Seriously. Even in my own self-centered world I could see that went above and beyond. We went to Courtney's and I am so glad we did. Courtney reminds me of Sundee & Melanie.

Ava Marie

This is the picture. Ava is obviously a physically beautiful child. But she also has this amazing sweet spirit about her. I'm not sure how to describe it. She's very verbal & can repeat almost anything. But she repeats words & phrases in perfect context. I don't know. In the past I would describe it as an "old soul." By that I mean she definitely seems beyond her years in some ways. I look forward to knowing her. She is truly special.

Sleeping

You are such a good daddy, Tata. I can hear you reading to Danijela right now. You do everything with such enthusiasm. Everyday you wake with love in your heart for all of us. I could never in a million years do this without you. Thank you for loving us so well.

Picture this.

Cousin Andi gave Danijela a toy camera. It's a tini tiny view finder. If you look inside there's an assortment of bunnies & sheep as you click through the images. I honestly had no idea how she was seeing anything given her eyeball was actually rubbing against the camera (above). I tried not to laugh & guide her at the same time. Later I realized she occasionally looked from the opposite end & could see a microscopic image. I don't have any good images of that.

One Froggy Evening

I clearly remember this Warner Brothers cartoon from my youth. A construction worker finds a box containing a singing, dancing frog complete with top hat & cane. His name is Michigan J. Frog. The worker is amazed & plans to make money exploiting the frog. The problem is the frog only performs for him. Each time he opens the box to show someone the frog does nothing. The film contains repeated attempts to get the frog to perform. Eventually the man becomes homeless & is committed to an asylum. I don't remember the asylum part, but that is what Wikipedia says.

My sweet Danijela is my frog. I'm often laughing out loud at the things she says or does. And it's not just silly kid stuff. She honestly has a great sense of humor & is quite clever (yes, I am her mother). She's very animated (no pun intended). She talks about different people in her life with great clarity. She'll go on and on about them. When in their presence she does nothing. She won't greet them or say much of anything.

Today was a perfect example. We left Millye's house. Before leaving she was clingy & whiny. Then I put her in the car & shut the door. Bam! The girl talks & giggles non-stop all the way home. She was "calling" Millye's house thanking all the kids for playing with her. Another time Danijela talked at length about Devra & Ellis on the way to their house. We get there & nothing. Devra is getting down on her level talking to her & she really won't respond. We leave with Ellis (1 year) in tow. Danijela is completely animated pointing out things to Ellis & talking about Devra. She's holding Ellis' hand to guide her along the way with great enthusiasm. Devra saw nothing.

I am so thankful that Tata, Mama & Luka get to see our singing, dancing frog. One day I hope others will too. You are a gem.

Call the doctor!

Whenever Danijela can't find a doll or puzzle piece I say "Call the doctor!" I don't know why I started doing this. It makes both of us laugh. Well, we really needed to call the doctor today.

Last night we put Danijela to bed. Nothing unusual about it except she had a difficult time going to sleep. She started crying & begging to stay with us. She got progressively more upset. Tata got her out of bed & she laid on the couch with me. She calmed & seemed to be sleeping but freaked when we tried to put her back in her bed.

The next step was to sleep with her. I'm not sure how much time passed, but Tata let me know she was burning up. She definitely wasn't hot when on the couch with me. She continued crying. We finally realized she was saying her ear hurts. We gave her Motrin for both fever & ear.

I don't know if all babies are like this, but Danijela's fevers come out of nowhere. When they do appear they spike high & incredibly fast. Her last seizure was November 2006. I remember because it happened when I was pregnant with Luka & returning from an Asia trip. Thankfully, we did not have a seizure last night. We did see the doctor today. She has a bad ear infection, but zero fever.

So far she is doing great today.

4 Months

Stink (as Sundee would say)! I forgot my camera for Luka's 4 month checkup. I almost turned around. But I didn't. Our boy is a truly happy baby. He smiles & even giggles 90% of the time. The other 10% he screams in the car. Doesn't matter if it is a 5 minute drive or 3 hour drive. On rare occasions he only moans.

The appointment went well. Dr. Nale said Luka is "thriving." Luka wasn't so sure about laying down on loud paper. He wasn't sure about having wax removed from his ears either. AND he definitely did not like the shots. However, the minute you sit the boy up he grins from ear to ear.

Height: 25 3/8" (75%)
Weight: 13 lbs 11 oz (30%)
Head: 16 5/16" (30%)

He couldn't be more handsome. Really.