Voice of Hope

I was asked what I took away from serving at Voice of Hope last weekend. Honestly, I'm reminded this outreach is not enough. Don't get me wrong. It was well planned & beautiful. I enjoyed being there & understand its importance. Yet, in reality, it should serve as a jumping off point for some & a reminder to others that serving Christ & His people is a constant, not a holiday event. In general, we are blessed beyond measure with financial resources & time. The event motivated me to give & work more for others the full 365 days a year.

Trapped

Being sick & stuck at home didn't seem to phase Danijela. She actually wanted to stay home the next day & the day after that & so on. Sunday we went to Santa's Village with our community group. Miss Melanie was leaving & said, to Danijela, "I'll see you at school tomorrow." Danijela looked her square in the face & said "I'm not going to school."

Oh, it made my heart fill up & also break. Danijela's innocent comment speaks volumes about how what we think our children need is not necessarily the truth. Often I think I'm not enough for her. I think she wants to be around other people. I can't give her all that she needs & she'll be bored. The reality is we are everything to our children & they need to be with us alone more than we might understand or want to admit. I love you, Danijela. You are the most important girl in my world. You are my sweet baby girl. Your kisses & hugs give me life & make me melt.

Sick Day

Last week our two babies were sick. And it sucked. We stayed home & watched more PBS than I care to admit. We also played a ton which I naturally don't hesitate to admit. Luka was awesome in that he tolerated sitting in Danijela's room while he was poked & prodded. Both he & I were given nametags (on our backs) just like Danijela receives at church. It was funny. Tata came home & laughed as he pulled the paper off my back which I had completely forgotten about. The nametag was applied in the morning!

The good news is they got well. The bad news is Luka is sick again. He sounds like he's been smoking non-filtered cigarettes. For about a week he's been waking almost every hour or so screaming. Some of this craziness is related to him being sick. And some of it is related to his new found skills of crawling & going from laying down to sitting up. Ugh. Now if he could just figure out how to get himself back down! Today we learned he has an ear infection. Poor guy. Poor Tata and Mama too.

Charlotte Leona

I feel like OK! magazine with the first published images of Charlotte. She arrived to Tommy & Tracy on November 20. They have an amazing image of this baby entering this world. I have a couple I snapped when they came over recently. I'm heading over there soon to take my time & get some really good ones.

Jan-O

Once again I'm backward blogging. It's a new theme to my blog. Sweet Jan came over recently to share dinner with us in our apartment. I'm so glad she did. We had a really nice evening together. Thank you, Jan. My goal this year is to have a set day that Jan comes over for dinner. We need to do this regularly.

Inspiration House

This is our inspiration for the house we are building. We are going to paint our house blue too. Yes, it will be completely blue. I've had some misgivings as we've started trying different blues on the exterior. Who knew there were so many blues & that it would start to freak me out. I love the look of this house. We can't afford the metal roof (bummer) and ours has to be more narrow. But this is it. It's our inspiration.

Picture of the Week

Teeth

Two teeth are breaking through Luka's gums. Little booger won't let me get a shot at them. As soon as I can get his silly tongue out of the way I'll post some pictures.

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all my friends. Thank you for the thoughtful Christmas cards. They are all very professional & well thought out. I didn't manage to get a birth announcement for Luka. And, yet again, there will be no Christmas card from our family. Why is it such a struggle for me to get through the day? December seems to be the worst. Everything feels so rushed & I can hardly manage the pressure to buy gifts & mail them. I'm also horrible about remembering birthdays. Wouldn't you know mine is Halloween & literally no one forgets it.

Upright

Yes. Yes. Luka can situp. He's been sitting up since October. Bad mommy for not posting this big milestone. Honestly I haven't been working with him. We just live life together as a family of four. One day someone asked if Luka could situp yet. I said "I don't know." I then plunked him down and, sure enough, he could. What a cutie.

I had a leadership team meeting at Watermark. Danijela tore it up in the playgroup room before everyone arrived. Luka is ready to run with his favorite sister. He's almost crawling. He gets up on all fours, bounces, lurches forward & face plants.

Miss Devra

"Hello? Miss Devra, yeah. Oh, would you please come over and play? Sure. Yes, I need to fix you. Yes, please bring Ellis. Bye-bye."

Rare Sighting

Luka sleeping somewhere other than in my (or someone else's) arms.

Life

I want to offically record that Luka adores his sister. When she walks in the room he will strain his neck to keep his eyes on her & smiles from ear-to-ear. I have to get a video or still of this because it's priceless. Almost every family member has commented on this fact. Danijela can also make him belly laugh when she wants to. Here are some (not so great) images of them together.

I have to work at getting more pictures of them together & with their Tata.

The Farm

This is crazy. I'm so far behind in blogging about our life. In early November Danijela & I had a date. We were going to the zoo. However, when we passed Owens Farm Danijela wanted to go there. So be it. This was all about her. We dropped Luka off at Baba's and walked to the farm. It was quite the deal. $5 for all the rides & games you could muster.

We've come here before and she's ridden the little train until Tata & Mama ran out of money. On this particular day when everything was so inexpensive she didn't want to ride anything. I convinced her to get on the carousel. The smile below was one of the few she gave me while we were there. At the end of our adventure we went inside the historical home that was open. She lit up. The nice lady let us play house until she had to lock up.

Dear Desi

I want to thank you for hanging with me at playgroup after everyone left. My sweet girl's meltdown didn't faze you. I could literally feel your compassion as the whining sent me to the edge. I didn't jump. I actually kept it together pretty well. Not all days look as pleasant although it's not for a lack of trying. It's amazing how one word of encouragement can change everything. Thank you, Desi.

Cheerios

Luka is a happy baby. Until recently he only got fussy when he was tired or hungry. Things are changing. He gets mad when we start to eat. He wants whatever it is we have & gets himself quite worked up over it. Cheerios are a good distraction. He can't pick one up and get it to his mouth. He is, however, very determined.

Four Weeks

While in Amarillo Tata put Danijela down for a nap. I was in Mamaw's dark bathroom rocking our boy when I heard the unmistakable pitter patter of little feet. I listened as Grammy talked to Danijela & guided her back to bed. When I came out Grammy reported Danijela was now singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. There is an obvious need for a curious Mama to investigate. The door is closed. I stand still for a moment only to hear nothing. Ah, but wait a minute. The singing resumes. It is an original this time. I return to the living room to retrieve the video camera. The door creaks as I open it slowly. It went something like this.

Mama: Danijela, what are you doing?
Danijela: blank look
Mama: I thought I heard you singing. Were you singing?
Danijela: Yes. I'm singing into that.
She points to a radio.
Mama: Will you show me?
Danijela: Sure.
She climbs back on a bench facing a mirror. She sings loudly then stops abruptly.
Danijela: Like that, Mama.
She gives me a huge smile.
Mama: Tata is asleep. How long has Tata been asleep?
Danijela: Four weeks.
Mama: What happened to the curtains?
Danijela: They fall down.
Mama: Okay. So, how long did you say Tata has been sleeping?
Danijela: Four weeks.
Mama: Do you want to go shopping with Mama?
Danijela: Sure.

This entire interaction happened with Tata between Danijela & me. He did not flinch. Actually I should have checked his breathing. He could very well have been dead. What would have really been funny was to have a camera in the room when Tata woke up all by himself.