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Missing You All

Home Again

Смо се вратили из наше невероватне породице авантуру у Србија. Плакао сам сузе туге и сузе радости, када смо отишли. Постали смо ближе породици, старим пријатељима и новим пријатељима. То је поклон ћу ценити за цео живот.

Here We Come

We leave for Eastern Europe tomorrow. We return to Tata’s home village with our children. It will be amazing for those expecting us & us arriving. There is much to do, but so look forward to the absence of technology & just being with one another. God you are so good.

My Little Man

I have an amazing image of Luka sleeping. The image is in my head. He likes to go to his "tree house" at night. Lately he shows up in Tata & Mama's room in the early am hours. Just the other morning he came to me, crawled in bed, & went back to sleep. I, on the other hand, worry about him falling out of the bed (very high). So I slipped out onto the chair next to the bed to watch over them.

I watched him as he & his sister slept. He was facing me on his side with both hands in the prayer position under his handsome face. I will hold that moment forever. In hindsight I wish I'd gotten my camera. Yet, with or without the camera, that moment is etched in my mind forever. I love you, little man. You have the most amazing smile ever.

Our Beauty

Why do they grow so fast? You hear it. You don't necessarily understand it. And then you have a baby of your own & you know it. Even on the hardest of days, they grow. They surprise. They teach. Yes, this is our "little" girl. No, she's not sleeping in her bed. She starts there but finds her way to our bed at night. Very talented given I'm a light sleeper. Love you, sweet baby.

1st Graders (Almost)

Caroline is one of my favorite people on the planet. She was so thoughtful to make a traditional Swedish cake for the girls' "graduation" from Kindergarten. Yummy! The boys were humming around too, but were more interested in trains & yougurt, if I remember correctly.

Grand Opening

Recently, Luka looked at me seriously. Then, with a smile all his own, he said, "Mommy, you are a grand opening!" It took all I had not to laugh from amusement & down right love for him. I asked if that was good or bad. It was good (whew!). I have zero idea where he heard that expression. But I was more than happy to accept the compliment in the eyes of our son. Thank you, Luka.

Milestone Announcement

Sunday Danijela took off on her bike without training wheels!

We decided to go for a bike ride. Our street & those around us don't have sidewalks & are hilly for little legs. I knew I'd be carrying, pulling or dragging bikes & kids home if we set out from home. Instead we took the bikes to a nearby parking lot. They were zipping around having lots of fun right away. I noticed both bike seats needed to be raised. With my handy-dandy toolbox I accomplished that task. Pretty quickly Danijela asked me to remove her training wheels. And she was off.

She mastered the riding, turning circles clockwise, turning circles counterclockwise & is working on the stopping part without panicking & falling. I didn't have my camera (bummer). But Chris & Drayce were with us. Chris captured the moment via his iPhone video.

Dinner Party

Tuesday last week we had dinner guests. It was interesting watching Danijela. She wasn't sure what to expect, but she likes a "party." I was being me by buzzing around getting the house cleaned (quick sweep). Danijela opened the front door & hung a sign for Jan & Don. Now, Danijela can read words. However, spelling is more phonetic. Cool that she took the initiative to make a sign. Awesome that she didn't ask for any help. And even better she found the tape & got her message on the front door before anyone arrived. Good job, girl!

Water vs. Gatorade

It's been raining here lately. It started pouring right when Luka & I ran for the car to pickup Danijela from school. Luka started talking about how we need water. I chimed in about the importance of water for plants to grow & creatures to survive (including us). Luka added, "God needs water!" I explained God actually created water & didn't need it Himself (to my knowledge). In response, Luka said, "Oh, God might drink Gatorade."

Be Still

Be still sweet child, listen.
It's your Father calling.
I know your broken spirit
And heavy burdens you carry.

Hand them to me.
They were paid for with my blood.
Nailed to the cross with your King
Full assurance of God’s grace & love.

Until then I’ll be waiting patiently
For you to put your trust in me.
Gaze your eyes upon Christ
His death & resurrection have set you free.

Very Bunny

The Easter bunny made an appearance at Danijela’s school & Luka’s school. We had our own hunt on Sunday. More importantly, there was a Resurrection egg hunt to continually talk about the true meaning of Easter. The Resurrection of Jesus Christ. During Sunday’s hunts, Danijela kept saying I hid the eggs. I never denied my involvement. That night I put her to bed. I’m not sure this was the best idea ever, but I did tell her the bunny is fun. Jesus us real meaning.

Happy birthday, brother.

Happy Birthday, Cowboy!

Happy birthday, Cowboy. You turned 4 on April 10. I recorded an interview with you a few days prior. We were discussing what you might want to be when you were bigger. Surprised you never said cowboy. You did, however, mention (1) fireman with a helmet, (2) police boy and (3) boy fairy. I asked if being a boy fairy meant helping people. Nope. It was all about taking “toofs.” You then asked what I wanted to be when I grew bigger. I told you a Mama & photographer. You told me I could still be anything I wanted. And, by golly you speak such truth. You said I should be a police girl. Don't be surprised one day.

You are precious. We thank God that He gave you to us for however long. You teach me about love, patience, excitement, & living now. Your prefer pajamas over any other clothing & will roll around on the floor to make your point. You don't like change very much. You love your Tata & Mama. You adore your sister. You're not without fault like every other person on Earth.

Thank you, my son, for your unconditional love that truly radiates from deep inside you. Our lives were changed for the better when you arrived. We are rich with love that we share as a family. All else will fade away like dust in the wind. God is Love & we are His.

Keep Austin Wired

Today we retured from Austin. I know that South by Southwest was happening. I even tripped over St. Patrick's Day by accident. The big news is sweet Andi has braces! After receiving her "grill" they gave her a T-shirt saying "Keep Austin Wired." Those not familiar with Austin, TX may not get it. Those who do know a common Austin motto is "Keep Austin Weird." I'll get her mama to send me a picture to post.

Snow Days

Love You

I love you both so deeply. This expression of love seems insignficant & somewhat shallow given the depth of your loss. I cannot possibly imagine how you feel. And I feel certain each day is different from the next. I desperately want you to know how much I love you. I am here. Ask and I will be there. We miss Abbott. Danijela & Luka talk about him with joy in their hearts & remind me Abbott is in Pardise chasing butterflies.

Miss You

I miss you, Abbott. You changed my life. You changed the lives of our children. Your amazing parents exemplified faith in God that reached far beyond life on earth & taught me about faith. You blessed them. They blessed you. Without measure love was given freely between you all. Your family changed countless lives. I expect to be greeted by you at The Pearly Gates of Heaven.

Celebrate Life

What would you do in 2 ½ short years?
Would you make the most of it or hide from your fears?

Our little Abbott chose to live every day
with a bright smile & love he freely gave.

Though stricken with cancer before he was one

his journey through life had only begun.

No matter how bad he might have felt.

He always knew how to make your heart melt.

Living life to its fullest each day he awoke.

He could make you smile each time he spoke.

He filled the room with laughter and tears.

And touched many lives in his 2 ½ great years.

-- Author Unknown --

Abbott Russell Wyatt
Blessing Since 06.20.2008

Peeps

Here's a shout out to all my peeps. Hum, maybe that's peep. If our babies could read I'd definitely use "peeps" without a problem. I'm just sayin' & clarifyin' which leads me to the followin'.

The last post reflects my personal spin on the chorus to the P. Diddy song performed at the AMAs. I know what you're thinkin', "Really? You know who P. Diddy is?" Yeah, man. We go back. I'm down with it. I'm still breathing over here.

Okay. In all fairness, I ran across the performance on YouTube. And, yeah, I didn't understand 90% of what Puff Daddy sang. See, I knew he used to be called Puff Daddy. I also know Prince went from "Prince" to a symbol. How's that working for you, Symbol?

Anyway, I did the hip thing & Googled the lyrics. Interesting. If truly self-reflective, good for him. He does give a shout out to our Lord. The women singing the chorus have amazing voices.

So all is good over here. It's just me being me. And I am coming home one day, but not to P. Diddy's home. My mansion is in the sky!

I'm Coming Home

I’m coming home.
I’m coming home.
Tell the world I’m coming home.

Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday.
I know His kingdom awaits.
He's forgiven my mistakes.

I’m coming home.
I’m coming home.
Tell the world I’m coming.

Julia

This is Julia. This is funny, rockin', beautiful Julia. I've known her mother in excess of 3 decades. Yes, you read that right (3 x 10). Moon Cookie Photography was hired to take her senior pictures & more. It was a ball. I must admit it feels strange knowing Julia is 18 & Danijela, our eldest, turns 6 in a couple months. It will be some time before we need senior anything. Well, that is for our children at least.

Hand-in-Hand

We were blessed to photograph this family in 2009. They are awesome. Last year the girls roamed the Arboretum & explored. All the while we're doing anything we can to get Simone to look at the camera. She knew who was in control. And it was not us.

Here we are in 2010. This family returned & Simone stole my heart. We did a "walking" photo shoot off the beaten track. About half way through our time, I felt the slightest tickling on my palm. Simone had me by the hand 100% & gifted me with the most beautiful smile as she looked up. I refrained from crying then. There is no question it was one of the sweetest moments on record for me as a photographer & human being.

It only took me a few moments to remind myself, "I'm suppose to be taking your picture." God spoke to my heart & said "don't let go." I held on & worried no more. She looked up at me & said, "I love you." Oh, geez. I love her too.

Only Poppy

Last night, my kids & I were sitting in the living room & I said to them, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine & fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." They got up, unplugged my computer, & threw out my wine.

Missing Tooth

Danijela lost her 1st tooth

November 4, 2010.

One Lie

What a pleasant morning recently when Drayce & Luka played well together. They chased ghosts & captured bad guys. Then Drayce went bye-bye after a picnic on the back porch.

Luka decided we'd paint & draw. I cleaned the booth & retrieved the supplies. I literally left Luka for two minutes to get water. With incriminating crayon in-hand Luka stated, "Drayce drawed on the table, Mama."

Seriously? Little one, you just helped me clean the table. Drayce is nowhere in sight. You were caught easily this time. I looked at you & said "Luka, Drayce did not draw on the table. You did." He paused then said "Sorry, Mama." With the best intent I provided an analogy where Luka was punished for something he didn't do. He didn't like that at all. I pray something stuck with him. The days are numbered where I can identify when he is lying.

Rainbow

Danijela is thriving. I heard consistent, negative feedback about DISD. I started researching options before Danijela could walk. I spoke to parents with different perspectives. I toured schools. I arranged meetings with parents. I interviewed the principal. I interviewed teachers. As a parent, I helped establish the ECPTA for our local school. My goal was to educate our family & serve the community at large.

Danijela attends public school today. Within the first week she spoke Spanish involuntarily (primarily numbers) & has continued to expand her vocabulary via the Dual-Language Program. If successful, it will be her 3rd language (Tata, keep talking to our kiddos in Serbian). Blessed are we that many neighborhood families we know made the same decision & are very involved in the school. Danijela & others are surrounded by familiar faces & a rainbow of new ones.

God is the greatest artist of all.

Prize for You!

I'm asking for prayer, sweet friends.

Luka has been saying "I have a prize for you, Mama! Mama, I have a prize for you!" He's been saying this now a full two hours after I put him to bed safely & happily. I'm downstairs. He's up in his room. He continues to repeat himself every 10 seconds. Remember, it's been two hours (so far).

I refuse to respond. Right? It's driving me nutty. He has no prize (except his amazing smile & begging skills). Where does a 3 year old learn to torment his parent until he gets what he wants? Well, I can hear Tata snoring. I, myself, need prayers. Hum, Luka seems to be getting quiet. I know there is a lesson woven into the last two hours for us both. It will have to wait until dawn to unravel. I'm tired.

Luka Quote

This week one quite cool play truck was the center a loud argument between Luka & Drayce. It was placed in "toy prison" (top of frig) until its release this afternoon. Well, another battled ensued. The truck was broken. Mom & I were talking on the couch. Jessica decided to referee this round on the back porch. She explained how "sad it is the toy was broken because they couldn't share. Now no one can play with it." She asked who broke it.

This is Luka's response, "I threw the truck, but it broke by itself."